Nagual Series VIII

Sun, Feb 15, 2009

Wanna Speed Up Your Transformation?

If you are not at the movie theatre, how are you going to see the movie? If you are not home, how will you hear someone knocking at your door? If you are not self-present, who is there to grow and evolve?

When we are trying to develop the art of dreaming, this is one of the first things we run into. We dream, but are not aware that we are dreaming. To be lucid in dreaming requires that you be aware that you are dreaming. It requires you to be self-present. It requires the awareness of ‘I am dreaming.’ What many don’t realize is that the same is true during our ‘awake’ state. Most of us go about our day without self-presence. Our attention is totally captured by people and things in our outer-world, or inner dialogs and emotions in our inner-world. We have no sense of self. Although we call ourselves ‘awake’, we are really deeply asleep. To be self present while ‘awake’ requires the awareness of ‘I am doing this, I am talking, I am thinking, I am picking my nose.’

Gurdjieff calls this self-remembering. It is the simplest (but not necessarily the easiest) thing you can do to speed up your growth. Self-remembering breaks us of the state of identification, which is the dominate state of the human. We are constantly identified in something, either in our inner-world (such as an inner dialog), or in our outer-world, such as our computer screen. The state of identification is a huge energy drain. All of our energy flows into the thing we are identified with. We literally become the thing we are identified with. That’s why it is called identification. We give our identity to that which we are identified with.

When we are identified with something or someone we are not self-present. When we are not self-present we do not exist. When we do not exist there can be no growth. We may stalk others and ourselves all day long, but if we are identified with that which we are stalking we are wasting time and precious energy. We do not exist so there no change in self can take place.

In its simplest form self-remembering is simply remembering that we exist. We remember that we exist at all times and in all situations. We continually remember that we are here, now, doing an activity or thinking a thought. When you begin to self-remember you will find it is very difficult to do for more than a few minutes at a time. A thought in your inner-world or something or someone in your outer world soon captures your attention and you no longer exist. Several hours, or in the beginning, several days later you will suddenly recall that you were supposed to be remembering yourself. You then try again, only to have something grab your attention and you forget that you exist.

Self-remembering is very tricky and it is easy to fool yourself. If someone asks you, “are you self-remembering now?” you will immediately begin to self-remember and forget that you hadn’t been self-remembering at all for several hours. When we forget to self-remember we immediately lose self-presence. We lose any awareness that we are not self-remembering. How can we know we are not self-remembering when we don’t exist? Self-remembering is totally in the now. If you are thinking about self-remembering, you are not self-remembering. You can only self-remember by self-remembering.

When you are able to self-remember consistently for sustained periods of time it activates higher centers in self. Ouspenskey, one of Gurdjieff’s students who, like Castaneda brought the 4rth way teachings to the world, talks about times when, after self-remembering for several days he would be able to “see” people. Although he didn’t use the same terminology he was able to enter the 2nd attention while walking down the street.

Without being self-present we cannot activate higher centers in self. In more advanced stages self-remembering is actually continually recalling the sensation of your core self which is the extension of your Dreamer. Our core self has a particular energy sensation. I have spoken of energy sensations before. Learning to sense sensations of energy and essences is a vital step on the path. When you are able to sense the sensation of your core self, and self-remember this sensation you will be consciously in touch with your Dreamer. You live life aware of Intent flowing through you and act accordingly.

Self-remembering is simple but not easy. If you can do it more than 30 seconds your first try you are doing good. Continue to work with it but don’t fool yourself. Self-remembering is much like stopping inner-dialog in that it takes much practice and you must develop your will. Want to know just how strong your will is? See how long you can self-remember. But don’t get discouraged. Self-remember in ALL and EVERYTHING at ALL TIMES. Do it when you recapitulate. Do it when you stop your inner dialog. Be self-present. It is the only time you really exist. If you are truly able to self-remember you will find your dreaming to be much more lucid as you will be self-present in your dreams.

Give it a try and stick with it. What have you got to lose? If you are not self-present you have already lost your self.
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